The Romans invaded Britain in 43 AD and stayed around for the next 365 years.
How did it happen? What heppened after it had happened? Is there any evidence still around today that proves it really did happen?
All pretty dry stuff - which is why these sketches were written: not only to answer the above questions but also to provide a few laughs as well.
Click on the pictures opposite to go to the BBC website and listen to the sketches as broadcast. And, if you'd like to see what the scripts looked like, you'll find that they can all be downloaded for free. (Just remember who owns the copyright ...)
Click any of the pix below to go to the relevant "Roman Sketches" section of the BBC web site
(each will open in a new page).
Once there you'll be able to download the script and/or accompanying notes ...
or simply laugh along with the radio sketches.
ESTABLISH INTERIOR ATMOS: A ROOM IN CLAUDIUS’ PALACE.
FX: KNOCK ON DOOR. FLUNKY ENTERS.
1. FLUNKY: Word from General Plautius, Emperor Claudius!
2. CLAUDIUS: Aha! Let’s see how he’s been getting on. (Reads) “Blah, blah … Invasion successful! Heading for Camulodenon, the most important place in south-east Britannia. Suggest you come over yourself and lead us in the final victory.” (Normal) What a good idea. Glory for Claudy!
3. FLUNKY: Shall I get your horse ready, Emperor?
4. CLAUDIUS: Horse? No, I’m going to ride in on something those Britons have never seen before …
5. NARRATOR: When Emperor Claudius arrived, bringing with him even more soldiers, the defending Britons realised they couldn’t win and surrendered. Claudius rode in to Camulodenon in triumph …
ESTABLISH EXTERIOR ATMOS: EXCITED CROWD BY THE ROADSIDE
6. SOLDIER: Stand back! Make way for the Emperor Claudius!
7. GIRL BRITON: Cor! What’s that creature he’s riding, Mr Roman Soldier?
8. SOLDIER: That, you ignorant Briton, is … a (sic) elephant!
FX: CARTOON LUMBERING OF ELEPHANT APPROACHING
9. GIRL BRITON: Wow! Look at those thick legs! And those big, flappy ears! And – that nose. It’s huge!
10. SOLDIER: Oh yes, that’s elephants for yer.
11. GIRL BRITON: Elephant? (Moving away) I was talking about the Emperor!
12. SOLDIER: What? Come ‘ere, you ‘orrible little Briton!
FX: LAUGHING GIRL RUNNING AWAY FROM SOLDIER. FADE.
#1 Romans, Britons and Invasion
#5 How the Romans
#2 Emperor Claudius invades
#3 Roman army and
#4 Roman army tactics
#6 Roman roads
#7 How the Romans
lived in Britain
#8 Roman language
#9 Roman childhood
#10 Roman entertainment
#11 The Roman legacy - 1
#12 The Roman legacy - 2